Status: a pirate...

Ahh, facebook. I'd dream about you, except I don't dream. And, you know, I'd like to think that if I did, I'd have better things to dream about, anyway.

Like tomorrow, kids. Pirates III opens. Can we say exciting!? I don't know whose clever idea it was to open this movie a day early (Probably Disney, they are the kings/queens/satans of making money in a sneaky but out-in-the-open kinda way) but since they're doing it with my movie, I could kiss them. (Quoting CPS from, like, two years ago: "Pirates is kinda your Star Wars!")

Mmm, gonna get me some Johnny goodness. Mmm, gonna get me dirty, dirty (toothless, old, wig-wearing dirty) men action. Playing with swords. And hopefully this time Elizabeth will do what she's been promising to do all along and a) come up with something actually witty to say--

Jacoby: I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain.
Elizabeth: You like pain?
[hits pirate in the head with a pole]
Elizabeth: Try wearing a corset.

--and 3. become the riot grrl she's always looked like she'd become.

Oh, and c) hopefully they make Keira Knightly look less modern than she did in II. I really hope they fix her lame-ass extensions. Guys, guess what, she cut her hair for Domino, ooh! I mean... Yeah, okay, the hair's not there, and you can't do much with hair that ain't there, but you've got to be the most $$ makeup people in the universe right now and you can't even hide that the hair's not there? Still, she's terrific. (And for no particular reason at all, here's some nudity)

And for the record? I'd totally do Geoffrey Rush or Bill Nighy over Orlando Bloom any day. Yeah, they're old and slightly icky occasionally. But they're not dull.

Um... I guess that's all. Be thinking of you...