Happy Birthday to Me, Ninjas and other strangeness...

Wow, quelle long title!!

So Monday was my birthday. Go me.


I'm an old fairy. LOL. That's some funny shit.

So for my birthday, Cos took me out to celebrate. Here's a picture.


I don't know who's been writing on our picture, but I'm sure it's something deep. What isn't these days?

Anyway, the celebration included lunch at the Lone Star Cafe. It makes Cos happy, 'cause it almost tastes like home. It makes me happy, 'cause a fairy gurl needs her melty cheese. Yay melty cheese!

Then, and this is the thing that was really important to me: We went to the Starbucks at Queen and John (My favourite corner in the world, second of course being the dueling Starbucks in Houston, but that's another post.) for some people watching.

I love people watching. That and shopping are my two votes for the next summer Olympics. Look, if table tennis is a sport, so should my votes be.

And there was some choice watching happening. The doors at Much were open, which always makes for some fun.

Wanda (On seeing a girl with indigo hair walk by): Oooh. Me likes!!
Cos: Me too... Nice colour choice.
Wanda (On seeing same girl come back, this time baahing at the crowd outside Much): Ooh, lookit me and my rugged individuality. Dig the coloured hair. Dig the leather coat. Dig how different I am from everyone else with their dyed hair and leather coats...
Cos: I wish I were as different as she is... *sigh*

Five minutes go by.

Wanda: Dood! That's a ninja!
Cos: Where!? Where!?
Wanda: 'Cross the street, hiding behind the pole. It's a freakin' ninja!!
Cos: Ohmyfuckinggod!!
Wanda: Yeah...

One ninja crosses the street to stand on the western corner. One moves away from the pole, and a third crosses to stand on our corner. Cosmo nearly pees his pants with joy.

So we watch the ninjas for a while, then the door at Much opens. Four black guys come to the door and the crowd starts to lose it's mind.

Cos: Ho, crap. Is that Puffy?
Wanda: Wow. Puffy? (Looks across the stret) Maybe?
Cos: No, I swear. It's Puffy!
Wanda: Nope. Not Puffy. Looked like him, but... Not Puffy.

A minute passes, crowd still losing it's mind. We watch silently, trying to figure out who this paragon of musical infamy may be.

Wanda: Uh... It's Boys II Men?
Cos: (Snarfs hot chocolate)

Turns out the crowd was for the white boy with the queer hair. Unfortunately I can't find a picture to describe how absolutely odd the hair was, but take my word for it. It was shaved in a kind of spiral thing around his head... I don't know, I'll keep looking. The world must see how completely not okay this hairstyle was.

Wanda: Yay!! It's Moby!
Cos: (Chokes on hot chocolate.)

And so on and so on. Of course, the height of the afternoon definately had to be the ninjas, but it was a good all round day.

Day 2:

I got an interview. My third one out of 100 resumes. Yay me!! And even weirder than the one I did at St Teresa's job.

When I get there, the girl doing the interview is my age, and has never interviewed anyone before. She spends about ten minutes telling me about how Closed Captioning is done.

Then she asks if I'm really bilingual.

I tell her I am.

Then she tests my typing. I passed.

The she asks again if I'm really bilingual.

I tell her I still am.

She thanks me and walks me out.

Cos and I go up to Chapters so I can turn in my application there. I figure, you know, if I get it, I've got a part time job on the side which makes me the most popular person at brunch with a discount...

Cos and I head over to Pita Pit and get ourselves some lunch. We come home.

The phone rings, and it's the manager from the company where I've just interviewed, offering me the job. Elapsed time: 1 hour 38 minutes. And three months. And twelve days. But I'm still impressed with the turnaround on that.

Day 3.

Start the new job.

The girl who's training me comes out with a hot pink t-shirt featuring a screening of Magnum P.I.

Me: Is that Magnum?
Her: (Startled) You're gonna fit in. Just fine...

First item of business: Captioning a religious program.

Priest: This book that says it tells the story of Jesus' life... But it's lies!
Me: Don't read the Da Vinci code. You might get ideas!!
Her: Yup. You're gonna fit in just fine...

Day 4.

Surprise party. No kidding. Cos and the gang threw me an awesome bash yesterday. Mardi Gras, complete with the hormones, the boobs and the drinking way too early in the afternoon.

All in all? Best week since Christmas, at the very least!

Thanks everyone,

xox

Letter from the editor, Pt. 1...

Dear Douglas Adams,

I know you are deceased, and that's sad. However, you were a writer, and you now have a "much-anticipated blockbuster" coming out. Since you were a writer, and this takes a certain amount of ego, humility and general sense of affability, you are probably in Heaven reading the internet for any mention of yourself. In fact, of this I'm fairly certain.

Allow me then to tell you that, thanks to you, my fiance has decided he must learn about Cricket. I got out of the shower one night last week only to find him glued to the India/Somewhere else match, and then had to listen to half an hour of garbled rules. These garbled rules, incidentally, sound like a very confused game that school boys make up from one recess to another, never quite remembering exactly what they had made up at last break.

I know that the rules thing isn't your fault, but Cosmo's desperate need to suddenly understand it can definately be traced back to his re-reading of the Hitchhiker books in anticipation of aforementioned "much-anticipated blockbuster."

With fondness and admiration, coupled with a desire that this hadn't happened,

Wanda

I took out my piercing for this...?

Note the before and after? This removal was supposed to help me get at the very least a semi-decent job, and yet...

Now, really. Here I sit, day one of my new and not so improved, but at least busier temp position. I'm working in an HR department for a local hospital, calling references and such, and for less money than I think I've ever made in my life. But it still beats sitting at home playing The Sims 2 and making the Polly and Pipe Smoker characters want to have lots of babies (Take that, evil baby lust bastards!) I guess.

So far I've sent out around 60-75 resumes. I'm not kidding. And I've had one interview. I'm still not kidding. And not only that, but this place wants me to file. Like, with paper. In folders. I have quite the collection of paper cuts, now. Quelle joy.

Add to that the fact that the building I'm working in is in the back of the hospital, which I strongly suspect is one of the oldest in the city, and that I have to access it by miles of underground tunnels. I get lost above ground in hospitals. And have you ever seen The Kingdom? And I don't mean that pansy-ass version of Stephen King's, either. I mean the real, creepy version with Udo Kier? This guy used to do videos with Madonna, and even at the age of like, 10, he creeped me right out.

Anyway, between the guy with no fingers demanding cigarettes every time I left the building, and the 10 walks past asbestos covered pipes (No kidding, there's a sticker on them that says Asbestos Insulation), and the miles of underground tunnels, and the ancient elevator where I kept expecting the ghosts of small children to materialize, it's been a very dull day. With paper cuts.

I've said it before, I'll continue saying it: (Cool) job people, I'm looking at you...!