Why I'm coming back as a cat...

Who needs thumbs...?


Or lips...?


Or the glass...?


And afterwards...


True satisfaction...

Heeeere's Johnny...

And heeeeere's my award for originality, too. But admittedly, when I first saw this, a little bit of pee came out. So happy. So excitedly dancing for joy happy. I can't wait. Of course, I'm gonna have to, but at least it's on the horizon now. No longer some strange imaginary thing in my head.

What else? Oh, Cos signed us up for this show called "Between the Sheets" while we were at the Everything to do With Sex Show last month. And get this - Someone actually called us about it. We're meeting her at Gabby's tomorrow night. I don't really have any reservations, except that I don't feel right enough being on TV. Whatever. Cos is really excited and it should be fun, at the very least.

Simon's gonna meet us there, hopefully with his new lady friend. It'll be nice to have her along, even if she probably won't give the go ahead to be on the show. It'll especially be nice to have a female there to break the Cosmo-Simon dynamic a little, since darling St Teresa won't come along. She and Eric are too chicken shit to join us, as if we'll actually end up on TV. Silly Teresa and Eric!

What do we do with our time...?

Well, we the Square Table members, spend our evenings listening to foul-mouthed fat guys extolling the virtues of Timbits.











Enforced child labour...


Oh, and this guy...


We stand in the cold...


For this...

"This" was my birthday present to Cosmo. Also, a good way to sneak in a show for myself, under the pretence of it's being a gift for my sweetie.

I'm going to admit to something that most people already know - I'm very not PC. I am careful not to hurt people's feelings, but I also don't believe in all the titles that we're required to use these days. This disclaimer comes because I have to say this: The evening started off with Jesus and a midget. That pretty much set the tone for the whole night.

After seeing the loser in the Jesus (Sorry, Buddy Christ) costume, I wasn't sure if I felt a whole lot cooler than I really am, or if I felt like a bigger dork than ever for sharing air with that guy. Nevermind, it was a great evening. (And, if I feel less lazy later, I'll blow up the Jesus freak's picture for whoever's interested.)

We got to hear part two of the Prince story, which all of you will be relieved to hear ends in Kevin not getting sued and Prince being very angry about it.

We also got to hear about Kevin's love of Dora, the Explorer. I fucking hate that show, it's beyond obnoxious. Kevin, however, feels it's terribly under rated, as far as pot programming goes.

I didn't get to ask my question, yet again. The question is this, and you'll see the brilliance of it: On his IMDb page, Neil Gaiman shows a "Special Thanks" for Dogma. I just want to know why. These are the things that matter to me, my favourite writer/movie maker guy thanking my favourite writer guy. My world is limited, I'll admit it.

In loving memory...

Because it matters.





In Flanders Fields
By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

IN FLANDERS FIELDS the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.



Please click on the pictures if you're interested in learning about Remembrance Day.

Oops...

Don't you hate it when you start a post and then forget all about it? This is dated 01:39 AM Nov 07 2004, and Cosmo just found this saved in my Drafts folder. Yay me.

Looking for info on the new NIN album, this is what I found.

Then there's REM, who're coming to Toronto and I'll be missing them. Again.

And I found this while doing my pretend Christmas shopping:

Did you know...






Yeah, I stole that, but I've credited it, so click on the link. Clicking on mysterious links is good for you.

By pretend, I mean I was looking everywhere for stuff I'd like to buy, but probably can't because I don't know what my budget will be like. That's neither here nor there, of course, but at least I've warned everyone now. I do have ulterior motives, I guess.

Uhm, in non-political stuff, see Mean Girls. Yeah, I know, but it's crazy funny. Also, despite the fact that everyone in it is a blatant caricature, it's totally like high school. Isn't that weird? (Apparently, it's truly Cos' school - There's a special table for Sexually Active Band Geeks.)

I was wondering, if anyone can tell me I'll be really grateful, but why the hell is training in Etobicoke? I mean, Corporate Office for a pretty big company should be central, like, Toronto, right? No. Some fuckwit decided that Etobicoke was a good idea. I can't even fathom who's brain was off that day.

I am officially morally deficient. I know this because this makes me laugh harder than I've laughed all day. Colour me miscreant blue!

Oh, and why couldn't I have spent my Hallowe'en here? Sometimes, mostly when concerts are involved, I will be the one in the corner screaming "Life's just not fair!" Yeah, I'm shallow that way. The world's falling to bits and I'm bummed 'cause Courtney played Hole songs. Slap me. In fairness, I'm sort of more jealous that I didn't get to see this show. Nice one, eh?

Yeah, I said "eh," deal with it.

On the lighter side of disappointment...

Time for some humour, as dumb as it may be.


The British version...


The Ralphie version...

The Canadian version, which may or may not work, they've been getting a lot of traffic.


How, indeed?

And for a list of the various different versions, you can go here.

Thank you...

Sadly, there was an annonymous comment on my blog that really needs to be addressed. Sad because it's annonymous, not because it was posted. I'm genuinly thankful that this was said:

"If you honestly believe that then I am glad you are an 'outsider'... you truely don't understand the fundamental concept of American democracy.

Everyone... regardless of opinion, level of education, race, creed or color... should have the right to vote. It is not up to you to decide for them how to run their lives. That is the essential tenet of democracy.

Freedom of will. Freedom to decide your own fate. Not have someone decide it for you because they THINK they know how to do it better.

-TK"

You're right, I was speaking out of my ass. It was a bit of frustration coupled with a good, healthy dose of "one bad apple" syndrom.

I do want to point out, however, that I get the basic principles of American democracy. I'm not that much of an outsider, just a Canadian.

The problem here is not what I get, it's what your government gets. Your government truly does not seem to understand it's own tenets, and if it thinks it does, it's seriously misleading itself.

Allow me first to say that I don't hate America, or the people who live there. Being Canadian, I do suffer from a good amount of "little brother" envy, and so I tease and joke, but none of it's for real. I do, however, greatly dislike your current government and a good deal (but not all) of it's public supporters. I also greatly dislike the sham they've managed to make, yet again, of democracy.

Yours is a country founded on free speech and acceptance, and yet I'm not seeing any. If you take into consideration that I know personally approximately 20 people and two of those were turned away from the polls for what truly seems to be false pretences, that's a ratio of about 1:10 people who were turned away for bogus reasons.

That's not democracy.

When people vote for a party not because they believe in what it's preaching but because their father and grandfather and great grandfather voted for that party, that's not democracy.

When people vote for hate mongering under the guise of enforced Christianity, that's not democracy.

When people vote for someone because they haven't done the research, or have had falsehoods and pretence shoved down their throat, when the most common avenues of learning and education are controlled by one side or the other, when people are too lazy to do the leg work themselves and actually learn for themselves, that's not democracy. When people are told what to believe and what is right without the chance to figure it out for themselves, that's not democracy.

My version of democracy and your version of democracy sound very similar, so at least we have that as a jumping-off point. The place we seem to be disagreeing is where you think what happened last night was democratic and ended the way it ended because people were given the chance to think for themselves. I admit that people thought for themselves, but a lot of those people didn't get heard.

I guess what I should have said is something along the lines of what Cos said: People should listen, read, watch and learn for themselves. If you're given the chance to be able to make up your own mind, you should do it. If you don't like what you're hearing, don't listen. It's up to you to look to yourself. And a lot of people either didn't, or weren't allowed to.

Instead, what you ended up with was a long line of hatred and lies:

Marriage, in my opinion, means two people love eachother and can stand eachother enough to make a life together and wake up together every morning without killing eachother. It's not like straights are making such a good job of the right to marry, as far as I can see.

A woman should have the right to make her own choices about her body. If, god forbid, she were raped or was having a child she knew she couldn't care for, she has already lost control of her life. Abortion can't be an easy decision, and having to cross (government sanctioned) picket lines must be even more demoralizing.

A person should have the right to decide what happens to their own bodies if they're incapacitated. If they make their views known, there should not be a lengthy fight against the government to have their wishes followed. The government should not be able to step in and say "This is what we believe, you must follow it." If you're not sure what I'm talking about, there was a case in Florida last year where a woman had been in a coma for eight years, but had previously left a living will. Her husband finally gained the right to let her go, but at the last minute the government (Jeb Bush specifically) stepped in and told the husband that he didn't believe in living wills, therefore the woman must live on, with no brainwaves, with her heart barely pumping, and against her will, indefinately.

Parents should rest safe in the knowledge that their kids can get a decent education or health care when they need it. Old people shouldn't have to choose between heating their houses in winter or being able to afford their heart medication. Ketchup is not a major food group. Children should not be able to kill eachother with the cock of a gun just because 200 years ago when your country was founded it was a wild and dangerous place. Highschool is hard enough without wondering if the greasy kid next to you is going to snap one day and pick you off because your shoes are better than his or seem to have more friends. And in a country that lauds itself for being founded on and supportive of freedom, none of these things should ever come into question. Furthermore, people should be allowed to voice their opinions on these things.

So, I'm not gay, but I believe that gay people, who pay the same taxes as me, should be allowed to marry if they want to. I don't know that I could ever choose abortion for myself, but I do believe that other woman who are strong enough to make that decision should have the right to do so if they choose, and that the doctors who perform them are human beings and deserve to live, regardless of what they do at the office. Having to pull the plug on a loved one is, to my mind, one of the scariest and saddest decisions a person can ever make. I may not like drug use, but in the case of cancers, AIDS and other terrible diseases, pot can be helpful in easing the pain.

But I understand that whether or not I like these things, they are basic human rights that should be granted. I also understand that if I don't believe in them, I don't have to do them. I don't have to like, condone or understand them, but I don't have the right to take someone else's right to them away. I don't like guns and what they stand for, so I don't carry one. I don't like Rush Limbaugh, so I don't listen to him. I don't like drugs, but I don't need them, so I don't use them. That's me knowing my rights and following them. That's what democracy really is.

Last night I witnessed the loss of those rights and the negation of democracy. I witnessed a government founded on hate, anger and fear win under what I considered to be false pretenses. The votes haven't even all been counted, and Bush was wetting himself with excitement to give his victory speech.

Of course, I'm just a socialist from a country that didn't follow him into a blood-feud, money-driven war against the wrong people, so you really should take my opinion with a grain of salt, which I'm sure you did.

Honestly, though, thank you for your post - You were right, but sadly I think the principle you clearly hold dear was missed by the powers that be. So mostly I'm sad for the States tonight, and the rest of the world, because the repercussions will be felt round the planet over the next four years.

True despair...

Sometimes, I'm talking once in a very long while, I despair for humanity. I've decided that today is one of those times. I've also decided that the American People shouldn't be allowed the right to vote. Or run for office.

I understand that this is a time when the country needs to feel united, and maybe it's to this end that Kerry thinks it's okay to just give up. But that's what it is, just giving up. And the country is no more united than it yesterday.

I know for a fact that a lot of the provisional ballots won't be counted until after Thanksgiving, and I'm willing to bet that a good chunk, say 80% of them are Kerry votes. We've all heard the stories about probable Kerry voters getting turned away or having the grand mindfuck played upon them so they'll just give up and leave. If they were smart enough to insist on their right, they were given provisional ballots. And if those aren't counted until after Thanksgiving and Kerry gives up today, all the fighting was for nothing.

In fairness, maybe the guy to run the country is the one who was prepared to give his victory speech before the votes were even counted. Yeah, sure, he's fucked up the country and the rest of the planet, making enemies out of friends and tracking imaginary bad guys, but at least he's decisive.

Probably the guy who's willing to give up before the numbers are even in is not the person you want in charge of your lives. But at least he has a global conscience, and that was one of the things that made the planet hold it's breath and keep it's fingers crossed.

It's not doing me any good to try and present this in a mature, calm and intelligent manner, so allow me to say this: This. Is. Fucking. Bullshit.

Deal with it. And you will. Unfortunately the rest of us will have to, too. Those of us who are standing outside, looking in, able to come to an un-emotional decision, able to see the effect your actions have on the rest of the planet, those of us are the ones who will be paying with you. Paying with you without the right to do anything about it. Paying with you without the right to say anything that's on our minds, because we're the invisible majority. Yeah, America's all-powerful, but it's the all in that sentence that scares me most.

Democracy is dead. It's a fact. When people are turned away from speaking their minds in the most free country in the world, that's not democracy. When people are bullied into conceeding and giving up their views, that's not democracy. When people who like Howard Stern run the risk of not being allowed to listen to him by government decree because the other group aren't smart enough to just turn off their radio, that's not democracy. When social moores are shaken by a nipple, something which everyone on the planet has, that is not democracy.

When it's okay to give up when the numbers aren't even in; When one day you're screaming that you'll fight for every vote, that every voice will be heard, then conceed before those voices have even warmed up; When you ignore the evidence of a war no one wanted and tax breaks that only help the highest common denominator, democracy, justice and just a general feeling of what's right in the world takes a final gasp to make sure the death rattle's a good one.

So, the people have spoken, and they've spoken for someone who isn't interested in a word they have to say. This is the last time you'll have a say for quite a long time, and I hope you enjoyed it. Congratulations.

In your honour part 2 (This just in)...

BJ has written us to say that he couldn't vote today. We called him to find out why, and when he got to the poll they told him he had to go to Lubbock. He and Buddy registered in Houston together and Buddy was able to vote there, but BJ was told that he'd have to dash up to Lubbock (A 9 hour drive) to vote, all because that was where he'd voted last time.

Cosmo's aunt Bebe was also turned away. Well, not turned away so much, but when she got to the polls they told her she'd been purged from the rolls, but if she went to a different polling place she could vote there. When she got to the second polling place she was told to go to a third and when she reached the third she was told there wasn't anything they could do, she could vote in the runoff election, but not the Presidential election.

BJ thinks he may have been turned away because he was wearing a rainbow shirt, which in Texas is generally an indicator you're a Democrat - Not always, but a safe enough bet, I guess. Bebe's Mexican. It's bad enough that two people I know personally were turned away from voting. It's far worse that the reports coming in from around the States are such that it's making me actually consider that one was turned away because of his sexual preference and the other didn't get a chance because of her colour. And for once I feel justified and not at all paranoid. Terrible.

Welcome to Democracy 2004.

In your honour...

Well, Cos posts quite a bit at the Randi Rhodes boards and has decided it would be a good idea to have the blog as his sig. This was mostly a good idea when I thought he was going to post - Nearly 50 posts and counting and still no sign of my imaginary boyfriend - as he was going to be our political reporter. Still, it's not like I'm devoid of social conscience. And it is election night. So this evening, for your viewing pleasure (Randi stragglers, I'm looking at you)

The new bin Laden tape released last week has been translated in full, not that you'll hear a good translation, or even a decent summary on American news. Here you have it, in full. Be forwarned, it's beyond creepy. It's like having a discussion with Satan after he's taken his crazy pills. Unfortunately, he brings to light quite a few important omissions made by the Bush government, and even goes so far as to call Hussein a "puppet" of the Americans. It all sounds very personal, and makes me for one wonder about what else has been going on behind the scenes that we don't know about. He also claims that the Bush family learned everything it knows about voter fraud from the dangerous rulers in the Middle East.

And voter fraud alerts abound, one watch dog commission reporting as many as 20,000 calls at 4pm Eastern time.

As I type this, the polls have started closing, and it's a dead heat at the moment, but it's brand new, so we'll have to keep our fingers crossed. And watch the numbers on BetaVote, because it makes me feel better to know that the world understands the importance of a loss for Bush, even if his own people may be deluded into believing that the past four years are something that need to be repeated.

I'm not the politico in the relationship, so I'm going to leave it at what I have here. These are the things I think are important now, and yes, I'm including bin Laden. I'm including him because his version of Bush is much creepier than I ever thought, even after watching Farenheit. But I thought it best to mention something, because I've noticed the Randi traffic and I can't let you be completely disappointed in Cosmo's sig. Plus, I adore her, she rocks my world, and so I thought it best to give a minor shout out to all the folks who've been coming here from her planet. Welcome, sorry it's not more riveting, but I'm beyond anxious and I can't bring myself to devote too much time to this - It's enough to give me nightmares, especially since they've pre-empted Scrubs tonight, which was my one chance at a half hour of not thinking about the election.